Drowning my soul

I know I won't make it if you don't love back, please love me for all that I lack..

OK, I admit it.

I cheated.

Couldn't help it. I love this girl's voice; I love this song even more.

If you know me well, you know of whom I speak. Yes, it was Sunday night. Yes, that means Barley's and RobinElla.

Once or twice in our lives, if we're blessed, or fortunate, or just plain lucky, a song comes along that plants itself smack dab in the middle of your soul. It touches you in a place that only the stars in their courses can possibly understand. It makes you forget about life and death, love and hate, heaven and hell and how the weather was.

All that matters is you, the singer, the moment, and the song.

For me, the singer is RobinElla. The moment was at Barley's, a Sunday night several moons ago. The song is "Teardrops."

Funny how my teardrops don't make a sound, when they roll down my cheeks, and they fall to the ground...

We ducked into my favorite joint a little after 7. It was muggy, oppressive, one of those hot summer nights that make you wish this was Knoxville, Alaska.

I'd have been content to hear anything. But I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't have been disappointed if Robin didn't sing the song.

I couldn't bring myself to ask for it. Part of me is just shy; I admit it. The bigger part of me figures musicians get hit up for songs 24/7. I didn't want to be another jerk begging for a tune.

So I struck a deal. My sis knows no fear. I agreed to do a favor for one of her friends. She went to talk to Robin.

Robin looks up after a moment and waves at us. We wave back. My sis said later she wanted to know where our table was, and asked why we wanted to hear something so sad.

I don't have an answer for that. All I know is this song, and this singer, speaks to my soul.

See my tears in the moonlight, reflect what I'm feelin' inside...

There's something about this angel's voice that makes me wish I could land in the middle of that "Twilight Zone" episode and make time stop. Just for a moment. Just for awhile.

First time I heard her sing, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, or some such place. No, really. The music was honest, a little sweet, with a touch of sadness thrown in for the hell of it.

Tonight Robin mixes her two sets well. She jumps from country to bluegrass to funk to folk and back again with ease. I feel my spirit fly high up into the ether. It stays up there a good long while. When it hits the ground, I'm refreshed, rejuvenated, ready to head back to reality after this two hour detour.

But it's the song, man. It's the song. She sings it as if she's walked around in my heart awhile, touched its scars, felt its pain.

It's almost religious and when the moment's over I force myself to leave it behind.

Hold me, I'm fallen and I can't stand upright...

I remember the woman I can't forget.

You say that we're stuck with nowhere to go, look in my eyes and you'll know...

The memory wafts away like the ash from the cigarette the girl at the end of the bar is smoking.

Seems like I've finally drowned my soul...

It's you, the singer, the moment, and the song.