Friday, October 31, 2008

Can't sleep

Well, here it is 2 a.m. and I'm wide awake, listening to sappy songs cause I can't seem to wind down.

Didn't get out of work until nearly 11, so I guess that's part of it. I don't know. Don't sleep too well anymore. Up and down, toss and turn. So forgive me while I chat a minute.

I tell ya, life can be a funny thing. I think sometimes of the disappointments, the times others have let me down and the times that I've let somebody down. Never have gotten used to that, either way. I'd walk the long way around the barn before I'd ever intentionally hurt anybody. But I still do it. And I'm forever amazed over the fact that sometimes those you love best can hurt you the most.

Then someone displays such a sweet and honest random act of kindness; it gives you a little more hope, a little more faith in humanity.

Like I told you the other day, sometimes you see the tragedy in Technicolor and forget about all the times you climbed up to the stars. And, you know, life lessons have taught me that the happiest moments of life are simple -- sunsets in springtime, friends and family, hearing your favorite song on the radio, talking to a friendly stranger while standing in line somewhere, baseball at twilight, when maybe, just maybe, Shoeless Joe Jackson might come walking out of that corn field after all.

Life takes its twists and turns, but what I remember most is the people -- the smiles, the kind words, the good times together. And, sadly, I'll remember too the heated words, the senseless anger, the unbelievable cruelty of which human beings are capable.

When I was a kid I watched the old westerns that I still dearly love and figured life would turn out that way. No matter how much I stare through rose colored glasses, this journey isn't a movie and I don't guess ever will be.

But you think about your family and the good friends you've been blessed with, singing skies and dancing waters, cool fall nights fishin' and thinkin' at the lake, times when the melody and the harmony came together and the song was just right.

I shake my head, figure all that far outweighs the disappointments, just dream and keep on being the way I am.

A John Wayne movie it ain't, but life has its own rewards.

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