Kanye karate-chopped by The King!

Guess what, Kanye? You ain't The King.

At best, you're an inflamed boil on the buttocks of society. And that's being charitable.

Elvis fans and people of goodwill everywhere breathed a sigh of relief yesterday when Lisa Marie Presley, E's daughter and executor of his estate, dispelled a rumor that Graceland is for sale in a USA Today article.

Earlier this summer, a British tabloid rag reported that West, best known for making an ass of himself at every opportunity, was interested in purchasing the Memphis mansion for (an expression I hate) his "baby mama" Kim Kardashian (another name I wish I had never heard).

Forget it. These gates are closed to you, Kanye.

"Sometimes there are rumors about it (Graceland) being sold," Presley told USA Today, "and that is NEVER going to happen. There's always a rumor. It is NOT getting sold. Graceland was given to me and will always be mine and then passed to my children," she says. "It will never be sold."

Thank God and thankyouverymuch!

I take great comfort in knowing that my nieces and godsons will still be listening to The King when Kanye is reduced to the ash heap of cultural irrelevance.

Graceland has also been named the Best Iconic American Attraction in the 10Best Readers' Choice contest, topping the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty and The White House.

Long live The King!