Friday, June 29, 2007

Into the night...


Funny thing, loneliness.

They teach you how to drive a car. They teach you how to act. They show you how to dress.

They never teach you how to live with the pain.

He pulled his car up into the driveway, the moonlight casting a pale shadow across the yard. Far off in the distance a house alarm disturbed the silence. Lightning peppered the sky. Must have been the heat.

He took a long draw, threw the butt into the grass and walked inside. God, he couldn't wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow meant freedom. Freedom meant the water, and the solitude, and a couple of days to forget.

It was fine until he turned off the light. Then he saw her. Her dark hair. Her shining eyes. He wanted with all his being to hold her, just for a while, just for a moment.

But, no. She was gone. Gone forever, to the place such visions go, never to return.

He saw a woman a couple of Sundays ago that made his heart beat. She was sitting way across the auditorium. She had the same dark hair, the same dark eyes. He felt the old familiar feeling rise up into his chest. And he fought it off, but lost the fight. .

That night he did all he could to make the pain stop. It wasn't enough.

It's funny. He hadn't seen her in years --- what is it now? Four, five years? More?
But he knew all she'd have to do was walk in the door. That would be it. He'd be as a crazy now as he was that winter night long ago.

He remembered that Texas movie, and Sam the Lion. What was it Sam said? That a man should always be crazy about a woman like that?

He knew it was true. She'd stirred his soul once. He'd held her in his arms and kissed her lips and pulled her close to him, trying to make the pain go away, knowing it would return the minute she left the room.

She wasn't the one. He knew that. But it didn't matter. He'd given everything just to hold her again, just for a moment, just for awhile.

As it was, he pulled the sheet tight around him, tossed over on his right side and shut out the light.

Sleep was some sweet dream, far off into the night.



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