To catch a thief

Hope you enjoyed your weekend.

Mine was OK until I tripped at the UT game on Saturday while letting a little girl out of the aisle so she could use the bathroom.

(I know what you're thinking and, no, I hadn't had any beer.)

The fall exacerbated the pain in my already aching back and banged up a previously perfect right knee.

So, Sunday was spent quietly on the couch, off my feet, with ice, ibuprofen and NFL football to keep me company.

After a brief nap, I watched a sentimental favorite, Warner Oland in "Charlie Chan in London."

The character has become controversial in our politically correct modern era. In this case, it's a shame, for two reasons.

First, I'm a sucker for black-and-white B-movie detective flicks of the 1930s and 1940s, my other favorite being the Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce "Sherlock Holmes" series. The Chan series -- particularly with Oland -- is among the best.

Second, the ironic part about it is that Chan was conceived as an answer to negative Chinese characters in American popular culture at the time, especially Fu Manchu.

Author Earl Derr Biggers was inspired to write his first novel while staying at The House Without A Key in Hawaii. Chan is said to be based in part on Hawaiian detective Chang Apana.

Oland -- the best Chan -- played the character in 15 films for Fox until his death, when he was replaced by Sidney Toler (who was OK, especially before he moved to Monogram). The movies were wildly popular, both in the United States and in China. The series helped keep Fox afloat during the Depression.

Critics remain divided on Charlie Chan.

Michael Brodhead argues that "Biggers's sympathetic treatment of the Charlie Chan novels convinces the reader that the author consciously and forthrightly spoke out for the Chinese - a people to be not only accepted but admired."

John Soister argues that Charlie Chan is both a positive role model and an offensive stereotype; when Biggers created the character, he offered a unique alternative to stereotypical evil Chinamen, a man who was at the same time "sufficiently accommodating in personality... unthreatening in demeanor... and removed from his Asian homeland... to quell any underlying xenophobia."

For what it's worth, I think Chan is a good character if you take him in context of the times in which the movies were made. Like Eddie "Rochester" Anderson, an African-American who was often the smartest person on Jack Benny's radio show (and could needle Benny like no other member of the cast), Charlie Chan was smarter than everyone around him -- Caucasian or otherwise -- and, unlike so many stereotypical characters of the period (and even unlike Rochester), wasn't reduced to being domestic help, an evil thug, or a downright joke. 

I simply find the films to be fun, classic whodunits from a bygone era, especially on a Sunday night when I hurt like hell. 

Walter Mitty dream jobs

OK, let's get one thing straight:

I've got the best job in the world.

Sure, the pay isn't great, the hours are long, you hear more complaints than applause, and when you screw up 100,000 people can potentially see it.

But that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I tell tales for a living. Doesn't get much better than that.

Still, I have my Walter Mitty moments. So, here are a list of jobs I sometimes dream about on cloudy days.

Being Rob Petrie -- I don't want to be just any ol' comedy writer for a TV show. I want to be Rob Petrie from "The Dick Van Dyke Show." Let's face it: He sits around all day thinking up jokes with Rose Marie and Morrie Amsterdam. Every now and then they get to make fun of bald guy Mel. They work for Carl Reiner's Alan Brady. At night, Rob goes home to Mary Tyler Moore circa the 1960s Capri pants era. (OK, we'll forget that he also trips over the ottoman -- sometimes! -- and for some strange reason has to sleep in a single bed next to Mary's.) His neighbor is Jerry Paris. What a life!


Being Jack Benny -- I'm a big radio guy and missed out on its Golden Age. Thank God I can listen to endless hours of Benny's classic comedy. Picture perfect timing, classic routines, the self-confidence to make yourself the butt of every joke, Jack Benny's show created the sitcom. He was everything his radio/TV character wasn't -- warm, generous, even talented on the violin. I would have loved to have had a radio show like Jack's, Sunday nights at 7. LSMFT!

Being Harry O/Magnum, p.i./Jim Rockford -- Yes, I would like to be any member of this trio of TV detectives. Oh, I know it's a fantasy. The work is hard, tedious, dangerous. But, I'll take a beachfront cottage in San Diego (Orwell), a guest house in Hawaii (Magnum) or even a seedy trailer by the highway in Los Angeles (Rockford). Shows about quirky detectives have given way to a saturation of rote procedurals. It's such a shame.

Being Jonathan Schwartz -- He's been a fixture on New York radio for decades. Jon Schwartz is one classy cat. Saturdays and Sundays on WNYC, he spins everything from Sinatra to the latest showtune singer. He used to be a cabaret singer himself. His dad was a famous composer. He lives in Manhattan. He likes baseball. He writes books. Yes, sir. Yes, indeed.

Being Robert Osborne -- Need I explain it? Although he's finally slowing down, Osborne has been the host of TCM since its inception. He waxes poetic about classic cinema. And he does it with class, confidence and cogent comments. Roll the next clip!

Being Vin Scully -- Oh, that sounds too pretentious, but I'd love to be a radio/TV play-by-play announcer for a major league baseball club. The national pastime is tailor made for radio really, and Vinny and the late Ernie Harwell and a couple of others are the cream of the crop. They knew what to say, they knew when to shut up and they did it (and in Vin's case is still doing it) with class and competence.

Having said all this, being Jake Mabe is pretty darn good.

But I can dream, can't I? (To coin a phrase.)

Jack Benny and me

I have inadvertently written a "series" of blogs of late on my love affair with radio.

So, I thought I'd conclude it by telling you about my all-time favorite series -- radio, TV, or otherwise -- and my favorite comedian.

I speak, of course, of Jack Benny. If you are too young to know about Mr. Benny (I probably should be, but that's a different story), let me tell you this: in his day, he was bigger than the biggest celebrity you can name today. And more talented. And funnier. And smarter.

Jack was a master at comedic timing. I've never seen a performer milk a laugh simply by standing there. As George Burns once said, "Jack would stand there until you started laughing. If you didn't start laughing, the show was over."

He was a true genius, one-of-a-kind, the man who practically invented the situation comedy as we know it.

All the greats loved him -- Burns, Carson, Cavett, Hope, Newhart -- need I go on? His incredible career began in vaudeville and his popular radio (and later TV) series ran from the early 1930s well into the 1960s. He kept working right up until the last few weeks of his life. Trends came and went, but Jack's brand of comedy never got old. He proved that you don't have to pull down your pants -- either literally or figuratively -- to get a laugh.

In a fantastic blog post, TV comedy writer Ken Levine talks about Jack's ability to even get laughs out of his greatest professional disaster, a stinker of a picture called "The Horn Blows At Midnight." Again, he milked it for almost 30 years.

Another great thing about Jack Benny is he didn't care who got the laughs. He was nothing like his vain, miserly alter ego. Once, he opened a season of his radio show by having his cast do the ENTIRE episode by themselves. He only showed up at the end for ONE LINE.

Name a so-called "star" who would do that today...

As I told you before, I listen to Benny's radio shows at night when I can't sleep. Catch a few of them here, but skip forward to the episodes beginning in the mid-1940s, when the show really hit its stride.

To hear Mel Blanc tell it, Jack also had a heart of gold. That may be the best part of it all.

Take a listen sometime, or do a "Jack Benny" search on YouTube.

Just for fun, here is a clip of Benny's "mystery guest" appearance on the popular CBS game show "What's My Line?"

As the cartoon character The Brain would say, "Now THAT'S entertainment, Pinky!"

Tuning the dial to the mists of time...

I love old-time radio.

I know what you're thinking. "Here Mabe goes again. He's standing at the corner of Nostalgia and Anachronism."

I don't care. I love it.

(I still prefer listening to the news on the radio than on television, such as I can get it. CBS Radio News. NPR. BBC World Service.)

I like to listen at night, just before bedtime. It is relaxing. It is fun.

Sirius/XM has a great OTR channel, but I still like to listen to the shows a la carte. My favorite website is www.otr.net. My favorite show is Jack Benny's. He invented the modern sitcom as we know it. I've gotten to laughing at these things so much I can't get to sleep. That was entertainment, baby.

I also love "Gunsmoke." Entertaining. Inventive, especially with its sound effects. Trivia: Marshal Dillon was played by William Conrad. Chester was played by Parley Baer. Doc was played by Howard McNear. (The last two were part of "The Andy Griffith Show" cast.)

Radio shows aren't as passive as TV. You have to use your imagination. My pictures are still better than those on the boob tube, even on "Gunsmoke."

Plus, it's a lot of fun.

Happy birthday, Mr. Benny!

Yes, yes, today is Valentine's Day. We know all that. (Love you, sweetheart!)

But, today is also the birthday of my all-time favorite comedian, the late and great Jack Benny!

Just in case you don't know him, Benny was a superstar in his day, first on radio and later on television. Coming out of vaudeville, he pioneered what we know now as the situation comedy.

He was also the king of perfect timing. All Jack needed was an exasperated look and an indignantly-uttered, "Well!" to get a laugh. No four-letter words for him.

His vain, miserly alter ego (so different, his friends said, from the warm-hearted real-life Jack Benny) is in my mind THE CHAMP of 20th century American comedy.

You can listen to at least 600 of his classic radio shows here.

And here is part one of a classic TV interview with Mr. Benny and Dick Cavett.

Happy birthday, Mr. Benny!

("Oh, shut up and sing, Dennis!")

Live365

I am an unashamed nostalgic.

People tell me all the time that I was born in the wrong era. And, as much as I like TiVO and modern medicine, I suspect they're probably right.

Course, that might also mean the multiple kidney stones I've had would have killed me back then. Minor details, friends, minor details.

There wasn't too much on the tube last night after I got home from work. So I went surfing on the Web and came across this great site, live365.com. It boasts all kinds of radio stations, most of them free, all loaded with different programming.

I was delighted to discover that several stations are devoted to classic old-time radio. Even better, the shows, at least on the station I tuned into last night, appear to have been digitally remastered.

What's fun about this site as opposed to an on-demand OTR site is you're at the mercy of the disc jockey rather than you're own inclinations. So I dialed in a "catch all" station and eased back in the recliner for a few minutes before bedtime.

Jack Benny came on first, followed by "Duffy's Tavern" and "George Burns and Gracie Allen." "The Life of Reilly" popped up as I was heading to bed.

Later, I had trouble sleeping, so I went to the couch and caught another Jack Benny before finally drifting off to sleep.

Most of these shows are a bit silly. The plots, shall we say, aren't exactly the most witty. But, it's fun and you get a kick out of the special effects and anachronisms like cigarette commercials.

The site isn't relegated to old-time radio, though. Live365 have channels filled with any kind of music you could want. I'll definitely be surfing back again on nights before baseball, or when I happen to be home and our wonderful slate of broadcast and TV channels don't offer anything -- which seems to happen with more and more regularity.

I swear there was more good stuff on back when we only got three or four stations...

Info: www.live365.com